It was all about the ego with me at the beginning.

I always wanted to move and feel the way I knew I could, which meant doing the same activities that I loved and pushing myself. Grrrrr🐲

Sure I followed what I had been taught over the past 15 years (at that time 😝) that was supposed to keep me balanced, but it was definitely about pushing myself in activities that I knew I was good at.

That and the lack of real available education on how to get and keep your body balanced holistically caused me to crash and burn.

And for those who know my story, you know that this lead me to Osteopathy and a whole new specific, integrated and holistic way of training and treating the body.

But what it also lead me toward is the beginning of working with my emotions and a deeper understanding of my mindset. Because the physical pain was terrible, but the loss of identity, the confusion, and the emotions I felt was almost insurmountable.

This lead me to self-help/mindset books and Buddhism, which has continued to this day.

I learned at an early age to keep pushing and achieve with the thought that it would make things better. And I did achieve A LOT, but it came with A LOT of anxiety and strife.

But I didn’t correlate this with how I was operating; I thought it was part of the process. It wasn’t until I got hurt and was presented with the 1st of MANY lessons that I, of course, had to find a different way of operating.

To understand that feeling uncomfortable isn’t just about pushing yourself. It’s about digging deep and feeling those feelings that are trying to communicate with you to help. Not to make you feel bad, which was my perception of them.

It was running away and fighting those feelings that caused me to feel bad, which made me feel worse and want to keep pushing.

Vicious circle.

Suffering has a cause. And it’s getting friendly with that suffering that is a transformative process.

Hard Yes. Worth it, priceless.

Have you had similar lessons?

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We hear every year that the vast majority of New Year’s Resolutions fail. But why is that? How can we learn from all that failure to ensure we succeed? Here are some of the reasons for failure – and a solution for each.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞: 𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 – 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 (𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬) 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭.

The solution: Start small and consistently progress. Here’s an obvious example that makes the point well. If you want to become a runner, you don’t try a marathon on your first day. Maybe you commit to jogging for five minutes a day on three days a week for the first couple weeks, and then add a minute or two at a time until you’re comfortable jogging for longer distances.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞: 𝐆𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫.

The solution: Involve a friend, loved one or acquaintance…or, best yet – a coach! Share your goals. Keep each other on track through mutual reliance and accountability. The reason for failure: Not planning and then stumbling into each new week without thinking about it. The solution: Sitting down with a calendar now and again at the start of each month to see what’s coming up that a) might be an opportunity for you or b) might be a challenge. Surprises will still occur, of course, but you’ll be less likely to be thrown off your game.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞: 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.

The solution: Regularly assess your progress and write it down. This will keep you from feeling frustrated because you are probably making progress even when it feels pointless. Stay in the “gain” idea – where you’re improving, as the facts show — rather than in the “gap” – between present reality and an impossible ideal.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞: 𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤.

The solution: Learning to rise above all that nonsense. Give yourself positive affirmations every day. Reward progress as you make it. Be grateful for everything that’s going well. HELP SOMEONE ELSE. Now, these were culled from research, experience, and common sense around the idea of New Year’s Resolutions. But they’re solid statements that can guide you at any point in life, no matter what the calendar says.

𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒: 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄. The solution: Take 30 min and write in a journal (not your computer) and brainstorm on who you want to be. What does it feel like? What does it look like? What emotions does it bring up for you? NOW set the goals that bring you closer to this. 😀

Sometimes you just gotta look at something from a different angle!

Whadda ya think?

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Sometimes it’s best to start at the end. Think of the outcomes you desire and try this approach. It’s called “reverse engineering, ” and it works for all kinds of problem-solving.

Start by envisioning the desired outcome. Write it down with as much explicit detail as possible. What will it be like? Are there sights, sounds, tastes, and smells associated with it? Will you feel happy, proud, relieved – all of these things?

Next, imagine the stage before you reach this outcome.

What do you need at this second-to-the-last point in order to get to the finish line? The mystery detective might need a smoking gun, an eyewitness, or lab results to put the last pieces together.

Do that again for the previous step and so on… all the way until you get to the start, where you are right now. Let’s consider the common goal of weight loss.

Let’s say Sally wants to lose 20 pounds. She determines that a weekly rate of 1 to 2 pounds is healthy. That means it could take about 15 weeks to lose the weight – and now she can proceed with confidence and comfort, rather than racing at an unrealistic pace and then, inevitably, being frustrated.

A smart reverse-engineer might also include challenges along the way. For example, maybe Sally has a stressful deadline at work that’s right in the middle of those 15 weeks. Now, she can prepare for it. She can even determine the first little step to take – because she knows in advance where it will lead. No more guessing or disappointments.

If you need help with this or can’t figure out the precise steps, then you might want to consider hiring a coach to guide you, and I’m here to help. Use this link https://calendly.com/ekemba_solcorefitness/ica-interview to find the time to talk and I will help you the best I can.😃

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It’s funny about the holiday season. It’s the one time of the year when everyone looks back on the recent past – while also looking ahead to what’s right around the bend.

Will you look back in frustration and disappointment? Or will you be pleased with how you’re making the most of your life? It’s easy to take these questions defensively and think, “Hey … I had a hard time.”

But I don’t ask them as an accusation. I ask them to steel your determination and your focus. Are you putting off pursuit of the life you want? Or are you making it happen?

If you didn’t move closer to your dreams in 2022, then get your mind straight for chasing them in 2023. And if you did have a progressive year, then pat yourself on the back – and then stop and think about what worked that you can repeat… or what little changes you can make for even greater advancement.

Whatever you do, PLEASE don’t take this as an opportunity to beat yourself up over mistakes or regrets.

Take strength from your victories and your disappointments. They are all learning opportunities to guide you to where you want to be – this time next year and all throughout your lifetime.

Never failures, always lessons.

P.S. If getting onto a health and fitness program that empowers you and leaves you feeling stronger, more flexible and mobile and with less pain, then I have an opportunity for you. I have a personalized online program that does just that, and have a special opportunity if you feel that this could help you use this link https://calendly.com/ekemba_solcorefitness/ica-interview, and we’ll set up a time to have a conversation to let you know what it is all about and see if it is for you.

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It’s not your family, your job, or your responsibilities.

It’s you.

Specifically, your brain. That’s right.

Your brain feeds you more stories to sow doubt, overwhelm and exhaustion than any other source. It’s like an enemy within whose top priority is keeping you from taking the necessary action to get what you want.

👉🏽 Who tells you that you’re not THIS enough or THAT enough?

👉🏽 Who tells you it’s a waste of time to even try?

👉🏽 Or that you’ll never get anywhere?

Your brain, time and again.

It might seem natural, but it’s really the product of conditioning and programmed fear. Once you realize that the liar was put inside your head, you can begin to shift your focus elsewhere, or at least accept that it is there and not act on it.

Recognize the lies you tell yourself for WHAT THEY REALLY ARE. Do this time and again, whenever your brain starts to repeat them. Stop them in their tracks and replace them with the truth … or at least with something positive, encouraging and helpful.

You can get where you want to go. But not until you learn to tell yourself what you really need to hear.

Does this resonate with you?

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