If you’ve ever given feedback to someone like a kid you’re coaching or a teammate at work you know the value of striking a helpful balance. It doesn’t work to just criticize harshly, nor to only praise without offering a path for improvement.
But why, then, is it so hard to offer yourself that same balanced, loving approach? Most of us find it easy to pile on the self-criticism.
Thoughts like, “I’m so stupid,” or “Why can’t I ever get this right?” creep in, especially after a setback in our health or personal goals.
Here’s something important: You are not a victim. Read that again until it sinks in.
A super-simple tactic to disrupt negative self-talk is to treat yourself the way you’d treat your best friend. Would you ever tell your best friend, “You’re hopeless, you should give up?” Of course not. Instead, you’d acknowledge their struggle and lift them up: “I see how hard you’ve been working, and you’re making progress. Setbacks happen, but I know you can get back on track. Want to talk or go for a walk together?”
When you catch yourself being harsh, pause. Recognize the mistake, learn from it, and move on. Balanced feedback is how we help others grow and it’s exactly what you need for yourself, too. With practice, you can improve your self-talk and boost your motivation, resilience, and long-term results.
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