It was all about the ego with me at the beginning.

I always wanted to move and feel the way I knew I could, which meant doing the same activities that I loved and pushing myself. Grrrrr🐲

Sure I followed what I had been taught over the past 15 years (at that time 😝) that was supposed to keep me balanced, but it was definitely about pushing myself in activities that I knew I was good at.

That and the lack of real available education on how to get and keep your body balanced holistically caused me to crash and burn.

And for those who know my story, you know that this lead me to Osteopathy and a whole new specific, integrated and holistic way of training and treating the body.

But what it also lead me toward is the beginning of working with my emotions and a deeper understanding of my mindset. Because the physical pain was terrible, but the loss of identity, the confusion, and the emotions I felt was almost insurmountable.

This lead me to self-help/mindset books and Buddhism, which has continued to this day.

I learned at an early age to keep pushing and achieve with the thought that it would make things better. And I did achieve A LOT, but it came with A LOT of anxiety and strife.

But I didn’t correlate this with how I was operating; I thought it was part of the process. It wasn’t until I got hurt and was presented with the 1st of MANY lessons that I, of course, had to find a different way of operating.

To understand that feeling uncomfortable isn’t just about pushing yourself. It’s about digging deep and feeling those feelings that are trying to communicate with you to help. Not to make you feel bad, which was my perception of them.

It was running away and fighting those feelings that caused me to feel bad, which made me feel worse and want to keep pushing.

Vicious circle.

Suffering has a cause. And it’s getting friendly with that suffering that is a transformative process.

Hard Yes. Worth it, priceless.

Have you had similar lessons?